Family First Names
1996
Dear Jeff,
We’re excited about the news of a basketball team in the making, and yes, I have some original thoughts about possible names.
You mention family genealogy as a source of ideas. In this specific regard, I am somewhat handicapped. Much of my original material was sent to our brother Jim for a school project that Lauren or Stacy did. They still have the originals—so give them a call and drop my name. If they still recognize it. It might be worth a ten-cent phone call.
I’m at a loss as to how you discovered my special expertise in naming babies. It has generally been a well-kept secret.
Family History
Some history bears repeating. Once upon a time, a good brother was crestfallen to lose the opportunity to name his daughter after the middle names of his extraordinary brothers—Jeffrey Lee and James Stacy.
“Stacy Lee” had been agreed upon as the perfect way to honor siblings. Ultimately, however, one brother broke up the name set by daring to name one of his own daughters Stacy.
Michelle Kathleen became the second incarnation of this magnificent obsession: Michelle after David Michael, and Kathleen after Kathleen Ann—using sibling names as inspiration. This tradition could have led to interesting combinations: Paul Stacy, Lee Stacey, John Jim, or even JoJim.
The Burris Family
I once attempted to convince my boss, Duane Burris, to let me name his fourth or fifth child. All Burris family names began with “D.” I campaigned for “Dean Burris,” believing it a shortcut to academic distinction.
The child turned out to be a girl. Ignoring my counsel, they named her Dallas. Dean would have worked—boy or girl. Naming is a tricky business.
The Teacher’s Dilemma
I vividly remember my eighth-grade teacher, who was also the school principal. She once returned from a conference with a story about a child legally named “Dammit.” Several weeks later, during a classroom visit by the principal, she exclaimed, “Dammit, you know you can’t spell that word.”
The principal responded, “Let him try.”
Which is worse—Dammit or Shutup?
Recommended Names
Michelle suggests choosing from the top baby names of 1996: Michael, Matthew, Christopher, Joshua, or Jacob. Her favorite? Matthew Lee.
— John